VALHALLA 11

The Mystery of The Magic Mead

Synopsis by Henning Kure

It's a dark and stormy night. Two enormous, dark figures have just failed

at assaninating Odin in a dark alley.They leave a clue which makes Odin

behave in a rather reckless manner: He mocks his ravens so they refuse

to do their work of intelligence, and he even renounces using his

allseeing eye in the sealed well of Mimer, - omniscience is a mixture of

curiosity plus superior intelligence and an acute sense of deduction, as

he arrogantly points out to Mimer's head

The clue - two daggers bearing the names of the owners, lead to the two

dwarves, Fjalar and Galar!

But weren't the thugs huge? Sure, but the dwarves are infamous

assasins.They were disguised. Elementary my dear Mimer!

Of course, the dwarves easily prove their innocense regarding the

attempted murder, they were playing dices with Loke that night.If they

were going to commit a murder, a thing they would never dream of, they

wouldn't have failed, further, they would have left a rune callingcard

behind, a common courtesy towards the customers, and not their

tools.They are strictly professional, they claim, quite indignant at

Odin's accusation.Odin has taken them and Loke by surprise in the early

hours of the morning, they are quite drunk all three of them.Loke is

entertaining with the tale of how he once used his magic to change Quark

into a chicken, thereby outsmarting Udgaardsloke. The stark raving mad

dwarves respond laughing with a tale of they "finished" a hysterical

giantbitch by dropping a millstone on her head.

The dwarves claim that their daggers have been stolen by the giants

Suttung and Bauge, and they describe how they once brewed an extremely

costy mead, (Loke's attention is awoken), with a secret ingredient,

anyone who drank of the mead would become very, very wise and inspired.

As a matter of fact, they've been drinking the last of it this very

night. (Loke looks with amazement at his drinkinghorn).

But one day, flashback, Bauge, whom they didn't the know, showed up and

wanted to buy the mead. They would never, ever sell the mead to anyone.

Shotly after that event, Suttung accused them of killing his parents and

demanded the mead as a penance. Of course, they were absolutely

innocent, but circumstances forced them to turn over the mead, and just

then, they found out that Suttung and Bauge were brothers.A conspiracy

to trick them out of their mead.

Loudly, the dwarves took an oath of vengeance and therefor Suttung took

their tools from them right there. Loke tells that Bauge is a

Vanaheim-hoodlum and Suttung is his rather violent brother.

Both of them are too stupid for words.

Odin rides on Sleipnir to Suttung in Vanaheim. He's received by the

daughter, Gunlød, who looks and behaves like the typical cool-hot

Hollywood vamp.Her giant-father isn't at home, she tells him. The idea

that her father and her uncle should have killed her grandparents, to

extract a penance from the dwarves, is preposterous. The giantbrothers

adored their parents.And Gunlød can actually prove that Fjalar and Galar

did kill her grandparents, their callingcard was found at the scene of

the crime.It was the only way the lamebrained father of hers could ever

figure out who the killers were. But then, why didn't Suttung just

avenge himself in the usual way?, Odin wonders.Perhaps because it would

rouse the dwarvenpeople to seek bloodvengeance! - Odin is no longer in

doubt that Suttung and Bauge tried to kill him to get the Asir to avenge

him and kill the dangerous dwarves, before the dwarves could kill the

giants.- But normally, Fjalar and galar only kill for money.So who could

have paid for the murdering of the grandparents? Gunlød hadn't thougt of

that, she turns pale and tells Odin to leave immediately.

The following night Odin plays chess with Mimer while he ponders,

patially challenged by the ravens to demonstrate his superior

intellignece.Who could have paid for the murdering of Suttung's parents?

The two sons are out oh the question. What would they gain from it?,

asks Mimer. An extremely valuable mead were paid as a penance to

Suttung. The penance was demanded, not offered. Maybe the kingpin is

someone, who finds it a lot easier to get the mead from a stupid giant

than from two blood-thirsty dwarves? Perhaps Suttung is actually in

danger, right now?

- At the same time, Odin's wolves have discovered an uninvited visitor,

who neutralizes them. Odin sneaks to investigate the source of the

suspicious noise and is all of a sudden attacked fy a furious and

threatening suttung, whose wellclad appearence barely cover his rude and

uncontrollably angry, thug-like character. He orders Odin to keep his

nose to himself...or else! Then he scowls at the ravens and Mimer and

disappears.

A shocked Mimer is positive that Suttung is the one, who chopped his

head off...except the age isn't right. Odin insists on plaing detective

and together with Mimer he goes through, (flashback), the events

following the War, the peacemaking between the Asir and the Vanir at

Njord's estate in Vanaheim, where all of the gods spat into a single

jar, the agreement to exchange the richest man and the most wise man

from each country as hostages.From Asgaard came Mimer and Høner who

exchanged homes and estates with the Vanir Kvaser and Njord, Njord

brought his teenage twins, Frej and Freja, who were very proud that

their father had been accepted among the gods.

Later, the chopped off head of Mimer was returned with a note saying it

was against the rules to send a giant as a hostage from the Asir. Odin

was about to give Kvaser the same treatment Mimer had gone through, when

the young daughter of Njord, Freja, saved the situation by, (through

rune-ingraving magic), teaching Odin how he, with the magic potions of

the Vanir and his own divine spit, could conjure life into the head of

Mimer

As if it only happened yesterday, Mimer could still clearly remember his

murderers: the giant Gilling and his thugs.There had never been any

revenge or penance, bacause shortly after the incident both Høner and

Kvaser had disappeared. The accusations flew among the Asir and the Vanir

of retributional killing, but without bodies or perpetrators the whole

case became just another thing of the past.. even though, according to

Mimer, it was mostly beacuse Odin spent all his time on learning the

erhmm.. "art of magic potions" from Freja.

Suttung is far too young to be the same as Gilling, - in that case he

must be Gilling's son! So the giant the dwarves killed must have been

Gilling, something Mimer deems to be a suitable fate for the giant So is

there a connection between Suttung's threatening behaviour, the killing

of Gilling and Mimer's past? Mimer doesn't think so and he's about

getting enough of Odin's deductions.

Once again there's a suspicious noise. Painfully aware of what happened

the last time, the wolves fall back, leaving it to Odin this time, who

determinedly knocks the intruder over. Burt this time it's not Suttung,

but a hangoverridden Loke who's returning. Loke had been playing dices

with the dwarves since last night to win the secret of the valuable

mead: It was brewed from the spit of Gods! How disgusting! Loke is

deeply disappointed and goes to bed. But a light has dawned on Odin.

What happened to the spit from the peacemaking after the War? The jar

was placed in the old estate of Njord. Did Høner get hold of it when he

came to Vanaheim and took over the estate? Or did Njord bring it with

him? How did the dwarves get hold of it? Even though Odin doesn't have

the full picture yet, it occurs to him that Njord is the only survivor

of the 4 original hostages. Could it be that good, old Njord was behind

all of it? Highly unlikely, but...

Odin rides to the stormblown Noatun and confronts Njord, whose shaky

consciousness makes him spill his guts pretty quick.

When the Vanir chose their hostages, they found that no man among them

was wise enough.

That led the most skilled of the Vanir sorcerors to pour the godspit in

a claydoll and thus invoking life and divine wisdom into it. (Flashback,

as a part of the ritual one of the spellcasters draws runes on the

floor, but we don't see who the spellcaster is). This claydoll was Kvaser

who thus also was a mockhostage. Njord had always felt bad about this

cheating, especially after Mimer had been decapitated, when it was

dicovered that he was a mockhostage, -and that was why it remained a

secret. Odin forgives him, he doesn't feel that this "cheating" is worth

mentioning.

Furthermore, Njord tells that if one ever wanted to get the godspit

back, it would be necessary tuo cut off Kvaser's head. Maybe that is the

reason why Kvaser so mysteriously disappeared?, wonders Njord. Odin is

convinced about that, and he also knows who did it, but he doesn't know

on whose command it was done. Who could be so interested in this spit of

the gods? Who could even know where to find it? The most skilled of the

vanir spellcasters? This question scares Njord and makes him shut up

completely, he has no further information for Odin.

Odin now decides to force the name of their former employer out of

Fjalar and Galar. He'll need an eagleslough, which leads him to borrow

one from Freja, who still, like the first time, make him feel

soft-hearted. When he leaves Freja, he dicovers that Njord is spying on

him.

Odin flies off, and during the night he interrupts the dwarves, who

suffering from heavy abstinences, are on work in Udgaard. He grasps them

with his eagleclaws and takes them for a ride high above the clouds. The

combination of the element of water and air scares the living daylights

out of the dwarves. Reluctantly, Fjalar and Galar reveal their

"businesssecrets"...except that they actually don't know the name of the

one who ordered the killing of Gilling. Gilling, not exactly a bright

giant, who's the older, spitting image of Suttung, came to them "on

behalf of his master", (flashback), and delivered a bag of gold plus a

sealed runestick with the name of the victim, ...who was none other than

himself. Before the killing they asked him curiously about his master,

who had to be very fond of him, (in fact, Fjalar and Galar consider a

liquidation executed by them a great honour). Gilling expressed a great

devotion, his master had once removed a thorn from his foot, and ever

since Gilling and all of his family had served the master faithfully.

After getting rid of Gilling, the dwarves also "finished" his wife

because she screamed like a pig, but the one Odin is interested in, is

Kvaser not Gilling: That assignment was given to the dwarves by a young

and seductively beautiful young girl, whose name they also don't know.

She told them she'd been sent by her godfather. She wanted the head of

Kvaser, which indeed had shown to be a claypot containing the spit of

the gods. They had used the spit to ferment their mead and the outcome

had been extraordinary. When the girl came for the head they had made

her believe that the content had destroyed it, and it had been lost.

They kept the truth about their mead a secret for many, many years

before it leaked out. The dwarves find these, rather macabre, memories

hilarious and don't even notice that Odin has left them on a small rock

in the ocean, from where they'll never be able to escape.

Back home again, Odin thinks like a mad. It's now clear to him that back

when Kvaser disappeared he also lost his head and thereby his artificial

life. But who was behind it? Odin is sofrustrated about not being able

to solve the puzzle, that he's just about to swallow his pride and ask

Mimer for the key to the well in order to get hold of his allseying eye.

However, he's interrupted when Suttung's daughter, Gunlød, arrives at

the hall of Odin with some new information: She has found out that it

was actually her uncle, Bauge, who was behind the attempted murdering of

Odin and the killing of his own parents, all this was part of the

intrigues and deceptions in his plan to usurp the power in the family.

Odin has hers and her giantfather's blessing to extract his revenge

-they will actually consider it a favor they wont forget, but Gunlød

warns him. Bauge has taken control of Gilling's thugs, the killers of

Mimer. However, Odin doesn't appear to have paid much attention to what

she's been telling; he's pondering like crazy. Gunlød finds this

insulting and leaves.

Then it all dawns on Odin, and triumphantly he proclaims that he has

solved the puzzle and figured out who's behind the mystery.Mimer and the

ravens are totally unimpressed, but Odin continues undauntedly: The

villain must be brougt to reveal himself!

By staling the valuable mead from Suttung and bringing it to Valhalla,

Odin will make the scoundrel come out in the open.

Odin packs the eagleslough of Freja in a bag, disguises himself and

assumes the name of Blverk, (the destroyer).He travels to the house of

Bauge in Vanaheim, where he "pacifies" the thugs by fooling them into

cutting each others heads off! Then he offers himself onto the service

of Bauge, who proves to be just as stupid as Loke described him. Bauge

knows about the mead the family received as a penance for the death of

Gilling. He doesn't know anything about it's history, but he has

obviously benefitted from drinking the mead. However, he does know where

the mead is hidden: In a cave in the Gnitabjerg, (mountain of fucking),

which stands between his house and the house of his brother, Suttung.

Odin scares him by telling him the mead surely will rot in such a stuffy

cave, but Bauge actually remembers that he, himself, drilled some

airvents way back.

However, a heavily intoxicated Suttung shows up and recognizes Odin.

Odin manages to escape, divert the pursuers and to find the shaft

leading down to the hidingplace of the mead. Soon after, he sneaks in

disguised as a snake. The cave proves to be a quite comfortably

furnished home. Odin looks at a beautifully carved bed, when Gunlød

appears. She's fuddled and amorous. In an obvious attempt to divert his

questions, she seduces Odin. But afterwards, she falls in to a deep and

drunken sleep and Odin continues his search in the cave. In a

compartment he finds three bowls containing the mead. Odin drinks all of

the mead from the vessel called Bodn, (welcoming), from the kettle

Odrøder, (intoxication) and from the vessel Son, (hangover) and

following goes through all of the corresponding conditions. Sick and

with full stomach from the drinking he's surprised by a voice behind

him. Odin turns to face the speaker, but we don't actually see this

person. "I thougt it was you", Odin groans.

Shortly after, Odin flees in the eagleslough. Beacause of his drinking

and filled blatter he has to take a leak. Suttung and Bauge discover the

escapee and try to follow him, but are neutralized by

the major staining done by Odin emptying his blatter.

When Odin reaches Valhalla, he spits, (vomits), out the rest of the

mead, which Mimer and the ravens find pretty digusting. A very angry

Freja is present and wants to know what Odin has done to her father.

Odin hasn't done anything, but it appears that Njord is totally besides

himself, claims Freja. It was actually Njord's own fault because,

unknowingly, caused the suspicion to fall on the gratest spellcaster of

the Vanir, namely Freja herself, answers Odin. But Odin happened to know

exactly where Freja was, 24 hours a day, (nudge-nudge), in the period

the murder was committed. The only person then, who could possibly know

the secret of Kvaser had to be...

...the longgone hostage of the Asir, Høner. Odin tellse, (flashback),

that Høner was a featherbrain and suffered from an enormous feeling of

inferiority regarding his co-hostage, the wise Mimer. When Høner took

over the estate of Njord, he found the runecarvings, which desribed how

Kvaser had been created and given divine wisdom. He then realized that

he could gain that wisdom if he drank the Spit of the Gods in the head

of Kvaser.

Høner made himself master of Gilling's family, (by placing a thorn in

front of the giant and later removing it from his foot), and thereby

gained some henchmen to do the dirty job. But all the persons he

surrounded himself with were actually far more stupid than himself, and

he didn't dare sending anyone to Asgaard. In stead, he chose to send the

cut off head of Mimer to Odin, hoping it would make the Asir return the

head of Kvaser. So when it happened that Mimer got revived, Kvaser got

nervous. He went underground, officially killed, and Gilling and his

family became his frontmen. Through his goddaughter, Gunlød, who

despised her own stupid giantfather and worshipped her relatively smart

godfather, Høner hired Fjalar and Galar to get him the head of Kvaser,

but the dwarves cheated him. It was only years later that Høner heard

about the extraordinary mead of the dwarves and figured out what had

become of the spit of the gods.

He sent Bauge to buy it, and when they refused to sell, he made sure

Gilling was killed so the unknowing Suttung could demand the mead as

penance. Suttung then tried to kill Odin thereby trying to force the

wrath of the Asir upon the dwarves, but that was the mistake that gave

Odin a lead on the secret of Høner.

All of this, Odin has been told by Høner himself, who surprised him when

he stole the mead. Unfortunately, Høner felt it necessary to kill Odin.

But Odin had a card up his sleeve: When the Asir was to send their

richest man as a hostage after the War, it happened to be Odin himself,

and he didn't really want to og. Instead, with the help of Loke, he

created a mockhostage from a chicken, which very fittingly was

called...Høner. (chicken is "høne" in danish).

With these words, Odin pulls a scared and flapping chicken from his

cloak. He had conjured Høner back to his original form.

"The precious, sweet mead wasn't lost, but it had gained a new and

bitter taste. From this flows the divine beer, which inspires all the

good poets, writers and comicbook artists.

But the stains became the beer from which all the bad poets drink"

The End